


i understand (just let me love you)

by teamfreeawesome



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fuckbuddies, I'm so sorry, LIKE SERIOUS ANGST, Liam-centric, M/M, Translation Available, Zayn being a dick, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-08
Updated: 2013-12-08
Packaged: 2018-01-03 23:16:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1074197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teamfreeawesome/pseuds/teamfreeawesome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Liam takes what Zayn gives him</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	i understand (just let me love you)

**Author's Note:**

> It is now 1.25 a.m. and I have just finished this. I _think_ it is okay, but I'm fairly sleepy so please let me know if you spot any typos etc (or if you think I need to tag anything).
> 
> Um. I am terribly sorry that I wrote mean!Zayn. I love Zayn. This fic is absolutely not a reflection of Zayn-ish behaviour at all. Just. God. This fic hurt me to write, so I apologise to those of you reading it. 
> 
> This was partly inspired by that [ tumblr post by drunkonlilo ](http://drunkonlilo.tumblr.com/post/58406958932/if-you-dont-love-liam-thats-okay-because-he)
> 
> I'm a bit not-sure about this one :S 
> 
> Disclaimer: This is not true. It's a work of fiction and no harm was meant by the writing of this. To me: fanfiction One Direction are fictional characters. I don’t, in any way, equate the stories to their real-life counter parts, because they aren’t the same people. Also, please, nobody send this to anyone included in this fic or anyone that they know.
> 
> Comments and kudos are lovely <3
> 
> Translation into Russian available [here](http://ficbook.net/readfic/1673690) by [hailie jade malik](http://ficbook.net/authors/hailie+jade+malik)

Liam breathes. He doesn’t understand.

_(You never_ do _, Liam. You never fucking understand. God, you’re so_ stupid _)_

*

 

Zayn makes Liam feel _clever_. He licks into Liam’s mouth – and Liam feels like he could map out the entire world on Zayn’s skin. He holds Liam by the hair as he fucks him – and Liam spits equations out with his moans. Zayn makes Liam feel

                                                                                                                                                 _brilliant_.

And Liam’s a star that shines just for Zayn. He lights up with every caress, skin singing his love out as they move together, Zayn breathing into the pillow behind Liam’s head. Liam strokes a hand up Zayn’s back – and everything feels like _gold_.

 

*

 

(Louis thinks Zayn is a _dick._ Hisses his name like venom when Liam smiles dopily around sweet afternoon expectations).

 

*

 

Zayn is cigarette smoke and leather jackets and graffiti. And Liam –

Liam takes what Zayn gives him (wonders why Zayn wants to spend time with _him_ ).

Zayn opens Liam up with paint splattered fingers, reds and oranges stretched out across the wall behind him. It’s not soft or sweet (Liam wishes for sweet sometimes), but it burns like _delight_ , and Liam _keens_ with _want_. Zayn hushes him, free hand stroking across Liam’s ankle, and Liam chokes on his _love_.

Liam loves Zayn – and it feels like flames licking at his chest.

 

*

 

Sweaty and sated (and full of love) Liam lies next to Zayn and _breathes_. The streetlight outside shines in through Zayn’s gauzy curtains, lighting the room with a muted orange glow, and Liam feels happy. It’s soft and slow and suffuses through him like honey (syrupy and sweet).

Zayn snuffles in his sleep, hand curled gently around the duvet, and Liam’s heart stutters in his chest. Turning slightly, he reaches out and brushes his thumb tenderly over Zayn’s cheek, before shuffling closer and closing his eyes. Zayn grumbles out a snore – and Liam falls asleep to the sound of _content_.

 

*

 

(Zayn doesn’t like to hold hands in public. That’s okay. Liam understands.)

 

*

 

Liam makes Zayn breakfast, smiling as Zayn rolls in, hair rumpled from sleep. (His lips don’t tremble when Zayn walks straight past him to the front door).

 

*

 

(Harry tells Liam to _be careful Liam. Just. Be careful_. But Liam _is_ being careful. He can trust Zayn with his heart. After all, he’s got Zayn’s).

 

*

 

Liam sees Zayn leaning against the back wall of school, cigarette between his lips. Smiling, Liam pulls at his rucksack straps and makes his way over to him.

“Zayn,” he says, eyes crinkled with joy. “Hi.”

Zayn removes the cigarette, lets it dangle limply between two fingers.

“Liam.” He acknowledges, face impassive.

“Have you had a nice day? I had English today and Mrs. Francis said -”

“Liam,” Zayn drawls, cutting him off. “You know the rules.” He jerks his head back towards the school, before taking another drag of his cigarette.

Liam flushes, ducking his head. He _does_ know the rules. Zayn and Liam don’t hang out at school. He understands. (It’s okay. He’ll get to hold Zayn’s hand once they get to college).

“Sorry, Zayn,” he whispers, before heading back to the school to find his friends.

He’ll get to see Zayn tonight anyway.

 

*

 

Zayn’s friends aren’t very nice. Liam ducks his head as he skitters past, keeping to the edge of the pavement to avoid them.

“Hey, hey, look, it’s Leeeeeyum,” one of them shouts.

Vicious laughter echoes across the group of boys and - 

Liam closes his eyes and waits. (He wishes Zayn was here to rescue him).

The first punch feels like _resignation_ – and he crumples beneath it.

(He can’t wait until college).

 

*

 

Liam comes home, white shirt stained with his own blood, eye throbbing around a bruise. His mum only sighs. It happens a lot.

(Liam hopes Zayn will kiss it better. Knows he won’t).

 

*

 

Zayn touches the cut on Liam’s lip, and Liam hisses.

“Sorry,” Zayn murmurs, eyes curious. “Does it hurt badly?”

“Yes,” Liam says, pushing gently at Zayn’s hand.

Zayn hums softly, gaze grazing Liam’s skin, before he pushes Liam back against the bed, the mattress digging into the back of his knees.

“Well. Strip then.” He says, and Liam moves hurriedly to obey.

“Slowly,” Zayn continues. “Put on a show for me, Liam.”

Liam shivers, eyes wide as Zayn settles back into an armchair in the corner of the room. Nervously, Liam reaches down to take his shoes off, wobbling dangerously as he tries to balance on one leg. Flushing deeply, he straightens.

“W-where shall I put my clothes?” He asks, holding up his shoes.

“Wherever,” Zayn says, smirk pulling at the corner of his lips.

Liam puts the shoes next to him on the floor, before slowly unbuttoning his jeans. Zayn leans forward in his chair, humming his approval, and Liam relaxes. It’s _Zayn_ (he loves him). He doesn’t need to worry.

(Liam strips and Zayn fucks him - and if it feels more perfunctory than normal… Well. Liam’s just being silly.)

 

*

 

Liam sees Zayn, and his heart beats hard against his ribs. He rubs at his hair (does he look okay) and fixes his shirt.

“You alright?” Louis asks, expression bemused.

“Yes,” Liam smiles. “I’m good. I’m going to ask Zayn out properly today. I know Zayn’s scared of being _out_ , but if we’re in it together – I mean, I love him. How could anyone hate _love_?”

Louis’ eyes widen as he opens his mouth, his lips pulling down at the corners.

“Li,” he begins. “Liam. I just – do you think that’s a good idea?”

Liam turns to him, confused. He just wants to be able to hold Zayn’s hand without being shrugged off - hissed at to _fuck off_. (It’s okay though. He understands).

“Why – why wouldn’t it?” He asks.

Louis frowns and turns to Harry. Taking a deep breath, Harry pinches Liam’s arm gently.

“I just. We’re – I mean. He might say no?” Harry says tentatively.

Liam stares at them, bemused.

“I – Why would he say _no_?” He asks, voice trembling slightly.

“Because he’s a _dick_ ,” Louis hisses quickly, lips pulled back in a snarl. “If he hurts you -”

“He’s not going to hurt me, Lou.” Liam says, smiling to cover the quiver of his lips.

(He just wants Louis to _like_ Zayn. Liam loves him. Loves them both).

 

*

 

He shouldn’t have asked with _them_ there.

Now he’s standing, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes, as Zayn’s friends laugh. As Zayn laughs, ugly and sharp against the smoke curling around his shoulders.

“Did you think I loved you, Liam?” Zayn sneers.

(Yes. Yes he did.)

“ _God_ , you’re so stupid. You were an easy fuck, mate. Gave it up to me easy. Just had to smile and you’d spread your legs. Like I’d actually _want_ you.”

 

*

 

(Liam doesn’t understand. But then – he never _does_ , does he?)

**Author's Note:**

> I seem to have an addiction to making fictional Liam very sad :S This is a bit not-good.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Lay Down With Me, Tell Me No Lies](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1075952) by [Ziam22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ziam22/pseuds/Ziam22)




End file.
